are starting to overwhelm me. these are the one-on-one support guys for 7 of my kids (7 out of 11. geez). one of them talks ALL the time. only one actually shows up at the beginning of the day. they take way long lunch breaks and then bring their smelly food into my classroom. they call me ms. matthews too which feels weird, and they ask me all kinds of questions like if i have kids (heck no), if what i'm wearing is new (no), if i got a haircut (yes), if i have "a man in my life" (i told them i have lots of men in my life, none that i'm dating ... i think it came out sort of wrong), if i like what i'm doing (yes) ... on and on.
and they're always there during the only breaks i have. and the kids are always cracking jokes about ms. matthews and so and so's tss worker.
AND the room is starting to get crowded for only 11 kids. we ran out of chairs today.
i hate when they're not there, but c'mon.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
a happy phone call ...
an assistant principal calls me this afternoon and says, ms. matthews, i hear there is something you want that i have.
i say, oh! the benchmark schedule? she says, um, no that's not it, but i do have that ...
i say, oh the ________ ... nope, wait you still need that? i have that too ...
oh well this? ... well, i have that too - you never got one? but that's not what i'm calling about ...
A COMPUTER! a brand new one!! HOORAY!!
it's a great, pretty, white emac. it is now in my classroom, and i'm sure it will cause a few fights, but ultimately a happier class.
(oh and i also have a sweet photo printer that they gave me, it prints onto CDs!!)
i say, oh! the benchmark schedule? she says, um, no that's not it, but i do have that ...
i say, oh the ________ ... nope, wait you still need that? i have that too ...
oh well this? ... well, i have that too - you never got one? but that's not what i'm calling about ...
A COMPUTER! a brand new one!! HOORAY!!
it's a great, pretty, white emac. it is now in my classroom, and i'm sure it will cause a few fights, but ultimately a happier class.
(oh and i also have a sweet photo printer that they gave me, it prints onto CDs!!)
testing
oh my gosh. this morning i received a box with file folders in it. the folders contained tests for each of my students.
in my class, we had three different test sets (thank GOD, truly, they test on their instructional level instead of grade level ... i was DREADING this, imagining them struggling through 6th grade material ...), all of which had to be administered orally (about half the questions aren't even printed in the test booklets, i read them). how do we do that - three tests at once?!
props to the tss workers who stepped up big time and gave the tests to a couple small groups of kids.
so then i look at the folders and see the names of two kids i've never met before. are they supposed to be in my class?? apparently. oh MY.
in my class, we had three different test sets (thank GOD, truly, they test on their instructional level instead of grade level ... i was DREADING this, imagining them struggling through 6th grade material ...), all of which had to be administered orally (about half the questions aren't even printed in the test booklets, i read them). how do we do that - three tests at once?!
props to the tss workers who stepped up big time and gave the tests to a couple small groups of kids.
so then i look at the folders and see the names of two kids i've never met before. are they supposed to be in my class?? apparently. oh MY.
that's decent
i was explaining evaporation to a kid in my class today -
i got finished with the explanation and how steam rises from a boiling pot ...
the kid looked up at me and smiled and said, "that's decent!"
i've never heard a part of the water cycle proclaimed as "decent" ... but, okay ...
i got finished with the explanation and how steam rises from a boiling pot ...
the kid looked up at me and smiled and said, "that's decent!"
i've never heard a part of the water cycle proclaimed as "decent" ... but, okay ...
Monday, October 17, 2005
emerson
a nice quote that is on my box of tea that captures my feelings about this teaching business:
"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in - forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old mistakes and nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in - forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old mistakes and nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson
"i have to go to the bathroom"
recall the tune "for he's a jolly good fellow"?
i have two students with, as one calls it, "bathroom problems." when they have to go, *they have to go.*
when there is an urgent need, one of them will sing, "i have to go to the bathroom, i have to go to the bathroom, i have to go to the bathROOOOOM, really really bad" (to the tune). it is so funny.
well, today, they made an announcement towards the end of the day that no kids were to be let out into the hallway for any reason. of course, this is right when the singer vocally announces his need.
i decided that he could hold it until the end of the day. the other "bathroom problem" asked too. i told her to hold it as well.
they are both sitting there, telling me frequently how bad they need to go, and i stand firm and say nope, hold it. pretend you're in a car and you can't go no matter what.
from across the room i'm half listening to the end of a conversation ... the girl says to the boy, 'yeah, just let it out.' he says, 'really?' (as i hear this i bound across the room ...) and i hear him, (deep sigh (of relief?)).
oh my gosh he did not.
he did, in fact, not wet his pants. he has a little more sense than that. but what a close call. can you IMAGINE?!!!!
i have two students with, as one calls it, "bathroom problems." when they have to go, *they have to go.*
when there is an urgent need, one of them will sing, "i have to go to the bathroom, i have to go to the bathroom, i have to go to the bathROOOOOM, really really bad" (to the tune). it is so funny.
well, today, they made an announcement towards the end of the day that no kids were to be let out into the hallway for any reason. of course, this is right when the singer vocally announces his need.
i decided that he could hold it until the end of the day. the other "bathroom problem" asked too. i told her to hold it as well.
they are both sitting there, telling me frequently how bad they need to go, and i stand firm and say nope, hold it. pretend you're in a car and you can't go no matter what.
from across the room i'm half listening to the end of a conversation ... the girl says to the boy, 'yeah, just let it out.' he says, 'really?' (as i hear this i bound across the room ...) and i hear him, (deep sigh (of relief?)).
oh my gosh he did not.
he did, in fact, not wet his pants. he has a little more sense than that. but what a close call. can you IMAGINE?!!!!
i missed them!
when they started to come in this morning, i got EXCITED to see them! what a bizarre (and new) feeling. i should go away more often.
notes from the kids
i asked them to write what they did on friday:
response 1: "a spelling test and fought"
response 2: "don't remember"
response 3: "stapler"
i asked one student how it was and she proceeded to tell me that the sub was a "fat lady who walked funny like this ..." and imitated. it was all i could do not to laugh.
response 1: "a spelling test and fought"
response 2: "don't remember"
response 3: "stapler"
i asked one student how it was and she proceeded to tell me that the sub was a "fat lady who walked funny like this ..." and imitated. it was all i could do not to laugh.
notes from the sub ...
student 1: " ... could not take child's behavior after prep (got worse), sent to [discipline-guy]."
student 2: " ... behavior worsened after prep sent to [same guy again]."
student 3: " ... child's behavior worsen after prep sent to [you guessed it, him again]."
student 4: "allowed others to lock him up in closet 2x ... taped his own mouth ... you have to tell him 100x to do anything ..."
despite being a little upset with the kids, i was secretly glad that the sub hadn't written "they were great, i thought you said they were rough ..."
student 2: " ... behavior worsened after prep sent to [same guy again]."
student 3: " ... child's behavior worsen after prep sent to [you guessed it, him again]."
student 4: "allowed others to lock him up in closet 2x ... taped his own mouth ... you have to tell him 100x to do anything ..."
despite being a little upset with the kids, i was secretly glad that the sub hadn't written "they were great, i thought you said they were rough ..."
terranovas
are standardized tests that the kids have to take ... surprise surprise they are this week! (i apparently missed the meeting after school last wednesday when i was getting everything ready. oops.)
even though one of my kids doesn't read at all, he still has to take them (at his 6th grade level). i heard that at the meeting, the autistic support teacher asked, "so what do i do for my students?" whoever was in charge, "they have to take the test." her, "but they're nonverbal." again, "they have to take the test." her, "but ... they're ... um ... okay."
even though one of my kids doesn't read at all, he still has to take them (at his 6th grade level). i heard that at the meeting, the autistic support teacher asked, "so what do i do for my students?" whoever was in charge, "they have to take the test." her, "but they're nonverbal." again, "they have to take the test." her, "but ... they're ... um ... okay."
my goodness
i walked into the classroom this morning (at 6:45 am) and, much to my dismay, found ALL of the materials i had left for them to do UNTOUCHED. the games prepared - unplayed. spelling tests - incomplete. classwork folders - not a single thing added to ANY of them.
i start laughing - thinking, what did they do all day?
i start laughing - thinking, what did they do all day?
Thursday, October 13, 2005
p.s.
i'm at home now (!) and am laughing about the role this blog is playing in the lives of my family.
apparently it's quite an event when new posts are up - and my mom will read them to whoever's in the house - even if they don't know me ...
i feel loved :)
apparently it's quite an event when new posts are up - and my mom will read them to whoever's in the house - even if they don't know me ...
i feel loved :)
broken hearts
one of my kids told me yesterday that his stomach hurt. a few minutes later he told me that actually it was his heart. "ms. matthews, my haht huwts. i tink it is bwoken."
(his voice, now that i think about it, is a little bit like homestarrunner's except less slurred - he is always asked for something "just for a little while" and little sounds like liTTle)
but a broken heart? poor thing. i couldn't send him to the nurse for that.
(his voice, now that i think about it, is a little bit like homestarrunner's except less slurred - he is always asked for something "just for a little while" and little sounds like liTTle)
but a broken heart? poor thing. i couldn't send him to the nurse for that.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
the smell
somehow i have neglected this important fact thus far: my room STINKS.
like, i walk in the morning and it smells like VOMIT - to the point of gagging, which i don't do too easily.
it usually is aired out by the time the kids get in there, but the last few days it's been cooler (don't get me wrong, i am *very* glad) and so we've had fewer of the windows cracked ... the smell comes back very quickly.
yesterday when we had the shoe incident, i sort of discovered the source. up near the ceiling there is a big hole in the wall. it's unfinished duct work i think, but w/out the metal siding - just a big nasty hole. i climbed up there (a chair on top of a table with one of kids holding the chair - bad idea, i know) in the search for the missing (still) shoe. i stuck my head toward the hole and BAM! i'm surprised i didn't fall off. the smell was TERRIBLE. and it's a big tunnel that goes to who know where. so the source of the stink is somewhere in there. i do not know what to do, but it is bad. worse than a dead mouse or something like that - it's more like a dead cat. UGH.
every day, this is what greets me as i walk into my classroom.
(oh and it is 'disguised' by a glade air freshner in the scent of citrus fruit or something which really makes the smell just more pungent. i shudder just thinking about this combination.)
like, i walk in the morning and it smells like VOMIT - to the point of gagging, which i don't do too easily.
it usually is aired out by the time the kids get in there, but the last few days it's been cooler (don't get me wrong, i am *very* glad) and so we've had fewer of the windows cracked ... the smell comes back very quickly.
yesterday when we had the shoe incident, i sort of discovered the source. up near the ceiling there is a big hole in the wall. it's unfinished duct work i think, but w/out the metal siding - just a big nasty hole. i climbed up there (a chair on top of a table with one of kids holding the chair - bad idea, i know) in the search for the missing (still) shoe. i stuck my head toward the hole and BAM! i'm surprised i didn't fall off. the smell was TERRIBLE. and it's a big tunnel that goes to who know where. so the source of the stink is somewhere in there. i do not know what to do, but it is bad. worse than a dead mouse or something like that - it's more like a dead cat. UGH.
every day, this is what greets me as i walk into my classroom.
(oh and it is 'disguised' by a glade air freshner in the scent of citrus fruit or something which really makes the smell just more pungent. i shudder just thinking about this combination.)
sigh
SO the kid i got in exchange was one from the beginning of the year -
he reminds me of a kid you may have heard me talk about - wayne, who's in 2nd grade, from m-fuge/n. philly. like, he is built like him, talks like him, has a bright smile like him, has anger management problems like him ...
he *is* wayne in 4 years if no one good gets to wayne first. he even did a back flip in my classroom today. just like wayne.
he looked up at me this morning when they brought him to my room and said, 'ms matthews i'm baaaack' with this wide grin. his mom said he hasn't stopped talking about wanting to get back in my class since they switched him.
it is SO hard to see him each time i do - and now every day. i feel like my heart tears every time he smiles. his hands are all wrinkly and chapped, from who knows what, and he can't read or write. could barely write numbers from 1 - 10 today. wanted me to call his mom to tell her he's being good for me. aw in that tiny little body there is so much hurt and pain and anger.
daaah. i am crying now. this could very well happen every day.
he reminds me of a kid you may have heard me talk about - wayne, who's in 2nd grade, from m-fuge/n. philly. like, he is built like him, talks like him, has a bright smile like him, has anger management problems like him ...
he *is* wayne in 4 years if no one good gets to wayne first. he even did a back flip in my classroom today. just like wayne.
he looked up at me this morning when they brought him to my room and said, 'ms matthews i'm baaaack' with this wide grin. his mom said he hasn't stopped talking about wanting to get back in my class since they switched him.
it is SO hard to see him each time i do - and now every day. i feel like my heart tears every time he smiles. his hands are all wrinkly and chapped, from who knows what, and he can't read or write. could barely write numbers from 1 - 10 today. wanted me to call his mom to tell her he's being good for me. aw in that tiny little body there is so much hurt and pain and anger.
daaah. i am crying now. this could very well happen every day.
for the love.
my goodness.
today, despite my best efforts, was another rotten day. especially frustrating was the fact that it wasn't the "usuals" acting up.
first, my fried chicken girl got moved to another class. the frustrating phone call from last week was with her mom, who told me that she was tired of the boys picking on her daughter and if i couldn't control my class, she wanted her out of it. so, the cutie-turned-crazy-but-still-fundamentally-really-cute-and-plus-i-had-learned-how-to-deal-with-her girl is no longer in my class (which brings the girl to boy ratio way down to 1:4).
today, despite my best efforts, was another rotten day. especially frustrating was the fact that it wasn't the "usuals" acting up.
first, my fried chicken girl got moved to another class. the frustrating phone call from last week was with her mom, who told me that she was tired of the boys picking on her daughter and if i couldn't control my class, she wanted her out of it. so, the cutie-turned-crazy-but-still-fundamentally-really-cute-and-plus-i-had-learned-how-to-deal-with-her girl is no longer in my class (which brings the girl to boy ratio way down to 1:4).
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
the sad things
i found out a number of these today:
- one kid was gone most of last week because of a death in the family. i found out today when he gave me the funeral service notice that it wasn't a random great aunt or something - it was his brother's baby, who never made it out of the hospital. the card has a teddy bear on it. one kid started giving him a hard time thinking he was joking about why he was gone, then the poor kid snapped.
- another kid's dad moved out yesterday. the dad thinks the mom "had another man in the house," according to my student, who told me ALL the details, from what was said, the suspicions, and what the kid thought. this kid had a particularly rough day today.
- yet another student wrote me a note about how he spend the weekend with his mom. i know for a fact that she has been in and out of drug rehab for her whole life, left him in the hospital when he was born, and he has never lived with her. she apparently lives somewhere with two other sons. he watched the dvd of james and the giant peach and was in absolute heaven. heart-warming and -breaking all at the same time.
- another kid (the one who lost the shoe) ran her mouth from the *moment* that shoe was discovered missing to the moment i pulled up in front of her house (total: 1 hour or so) about how she was gonna see the belt about this, about what her dad would do, about the fights her parents get in ...
it helps me understand why they are the way they are, but it doesn't make it any easier ...
- one kid was gone most of last week because of a death in the family. i found out today when he gave me the funeral service notice that it wasn't a random great aunt or something - it was his brother's baby, who never made it out of the hospital. the card has a teddy bear on it. one kid started giving him a hard time thinking he was joking about why he was gone, then the poor kid snapped.
- another kid's dad moved out yesterday. the dad thinks the mom "had another man in the house," according to my student, who told me ALL the details, from what was said, the suspicions, and what the kid thought. this kid had a particularly rough day today.
- yet another student wrote me a note about how he spend the weekend with his mom. i know for a fact that she has been in and out of drug rehab for her whole life, left him in the hospital when he was born, and he has never lived with her. she apparently lives somewhere with two other sons. he watched the dvd of james and the giant peach and was in absolute heaven. heart-warming and -breaking all at the same time.
- another kid (the one who lost the shoe) ran her mouth from the *moment* that shoe was discovered missing to the moment i pulled up in front of her house (total: 1 hour or so) about how she was gonna see the belt about this, about what her dad would do, about the fights her parents get in ...
it helps me understand why they are the way they are, but it doesn't make it any easier ...
in the same boat
for once - my kids and i are ALL nervous about what is going to happen friday when i am gone.
secretly i think i hope the sub doesn't show and a random other teacher gets my class all day (so there is more witness to these kids).
secretly i think i hope the sub doesn't show and a random other teacher gets my class all day (so there is more witness to these kids).
unbelievable
i just got home, after having dropped off one of my students at her house. why did i drive her home? you may ask. oh, simple answer ... she was missing a shoe.
huh? yes. the end of the day comes, and this girl (formerly knowed as the farter ... fortunatly the gas has passed) starts yelling, "matthew (she forgets both the ms. and the s always) my shoe missin'" the boys usually mess with her and so i interrogate them (this all in the midst of another fight, by the way) ... they swear they haven't seen it. last i saw she was reading in the back with both shoes off. i didn't see either shoe - ever.
so i have to call her mom and tell her that her kid's shoe is missing, that i won't make her take the bus with one shoe (i cannot even IMAGINE the ridicule), i'll drive her home after we look for the shoe. one hour later, no shoe and one unhappy (but, thankfully, very kind) mother later, i am on my way home.
who goes to school and loses their SHOE?
and what kind of teacher has that happen in their classroom?
huh? yes. the end of the day comes, and this girl (formerly knowed as the farter ... fortunatly the gas has passed) starts yelling, "matthew (she forgets both the ms. and the s always) my shoe missin'" the boys usually mess with her and so i interrogate them (this all in the midst of another fight, by the way) ... they swear they haven't seen it. last i saw she was reading in the back with both shoes off. i didn't see either shoe - ever.
so i have to call her mom and tell her that her kid's shoe is missing, that i won't make her take the bus with one shoe (i cannot even IMAGINE the ridicule), i'll drive her home after we look for the shoe. one hour later, no shoe and one unhappy (but, thankfully, very kind) mother later, i am on my way home.
who goes to school and loses their SHOE?
and what kind of teacher has that happen in their classroom?
Monday, October 10, 2005
a short story
this is a story that 3 of my kids wrote for me last week (uneditted):
"onec upon a time it was a little girl name ms. matthews sher grow up to be come a teacher. then the principal said Ms. Matthews you going to be teacher 6 graed then Ms. Matthews said am going to teaching 6 graed yes said the principal that horrible said ms. matthews I hope the 6 graed is not bad said the teacher then when the teahe open the door she was not very suprised because the class was being bad and then Ms Matthews said put your heads down and don't get back up and then she had to go to the office to get something and when she left out and then they got back up out of there seat and when she come back in all the lights was off and she turned them on and said BOO and then every body screamed loud and then Ms. Matthews started laughing and said that I got you guys and then she said lets get to work. Then she said that this hole class had a great day and then we all had free time The End"
"onec upon a time it was a little girl name ms. matthews sher grow up to be come a teacher. then the principal said Ms. Matthews you going to be teacher 6 graed then Ms. Matthews said am going to teaching 6 graed yes said the principal that horrible said ms. matthews I hope the 6 graed is not bad said the teacher then when the teahe open the door she was not very suprised because the class was being bad and then Ms Matthews said put your heads down and don't get back up and then she had to go to the office to get something and when she left out and then they got back up out of there seat and when she come back in all the lights was off and she turned them on and said BOO and then every body screamed loud and then Ms. Matthews started laughing and said that I got you guys and then she said lets get to work. Then she said that this hole class had a great day and then we all had free time The End"