one of my kids has been really excited about learning big words lately. i got a pretty advanced vocabulary workbook and gave it to him yesterday. today after school we worked on words like myriad, contagious, appalling, picturesque, and eminent. it was grand.
same kid also told me about when he read the book of Revelation. scared him so bad he slept in his grandmom's bed for a week. i told that's why it's important to read between the beginning and the end. he said not to worry, he knows Jesus.
and he has an audition tomorrow for a play at his community center. his big dream is to move to california and become an actor. early in the day, he told me about it, asked me to pray (and said if he doesn't get a part, he's going to ask me if i talked to the Lord or not and if i didn't he'll be mad) and come to the show if he gets in. after school he told me decided not to do it ... he said "see, i don't deal well with rejection or failure. and i don't want to be rejected and have them tell me i'm not good. see, ms. matthews, i'm half-illiterate and half my brain doesn't work [not true]. in these things, they just give you a script and have you read, and i'll mess up on any big words. ms. matthews i can't do it. i don't wanna be embarrassed. i'm not goin' in there and not getting a part. i'd rather not try out at all."
poor thing. i convinced him that they'd surely let him practice before his audition with the script, that he could use his tape recorder to record someone reading it as he reads along to practice ... told him how tom cruise is dyslexic ...
i reallllly hope he gets a part.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
grocery store
there is a kid next door to my classroom who terrorizes me ALL DAY LONG. bangs on the door, climbs through the window above the door, comes in and dances, steals stuff, and lately has been taking one of my more helpless students and locking him in the fire escape.
i was standing in line at the fresh grocer after school yesterday, and i look up and see HIM bagging my groceries. oh my goodness. he greeted me in this sugar-coated-my-manager-is-looking-at-me voice ...
i asked the cashier if he works there. her response (laughing): we can't seem to get rid of him. my response: yeah, me neither.
i guess he's not officially employed there. he's only 11 or 12. he told me today his dad's a manager there, which made me excited. i think i might 'accidentally' run into and have a little chat with his dad next time i'm at the store.
i was standing in line at the fresh grocer after school yesterday, and i look up and see HIM bagging my groceries. oh my goodness. he greeted me in this sugar-coated-my-manager-is-looking-at-me voice ...
i asked the cashier if he works there. her response (laughing): we can't seem to get rid of him. my response: yeah, me neither.
i guess he's not officially employed there. he's only 11 or 12. he told me today his dad's a manager there, which made me excited. i think i might 'accidentally' run into and have a little chat with his dad next time i'm at the store.
uniform check
today, for the first time all school year, a police officer and assistant principal popped into the classroom and took out all my kids w/ out uniforms on. they were supposed to have in school suspension for the day and then FIVE days suspension (kids don't even get 5 days for throwing bricks through classroom windows ...). Extreme, but hey, we'll take it.
they took 3 of my kids at first, one of whom came back when i gave him a terribly dirty uniform shirt i found balled up in a closet (gross). then 3 others in my class tore off their uniform shirts, stuck them in their bags, and ran out in the hallway w/ their tshirts screaming, 'we're not in uniform, suspend us too! we want 5 days! we want 5 days!"
i shut the door and looked around... 6 kids. GLORY. we all smiled and someone said, ms. matthews, we gonna get lots of work done today.
5 minutes later, the others came back and told me that they were sent back "because we special ed. they said they can't suspend us cause we special ed."
ARGH!
they took 3 of my kids at first, one of whom came back when i gave him a terribly dirty uniform shirt i found balled up in a closet (gross). then 3 others in my class tore off their uniform shirts, stuck them in their bags, and ran out in the hallway w/ their tshirts screaming, 'we're not in uniform, suspend us too! we want 5 days! we want 5 days!"
i shut the door and looked around... 6 kids. GLORY. we all smiled and someone said, ms. matthews, we gonna get lots of work done today.
5 minutes later, the others came back and told me that they were sent back "because we special ed. they said they can't suspend us cause we special ed."
ARGH!
perspective ...
the last few weeks have been rough - especially last week. at one point, i had to get another teacher to come into my classroom so i could take a little walk. i felt like i was either going to explode with screaming or tears.
but, i think i've been letting it get to me a little too much. i want to laugh in the face of adversity, knowing that my Jesus will carry me through. i want to take joy in the fact that He is requiring my reliance on Him in such a real way. i want to be able to see Him in the difficult moments ...
that is hard - but it is a choice. and sometimes it's as simple as just *making* the choice. so, i'm trying to be actively joy-seeking, joyful. we'll see how it goes ... :)
but, i think i've been letting it get to me a little too much. i want to laugh in the face of adversity, knowing that my Jesus will carry me through. i want to take joy in the fact that He is requiring my reliance on Him in such a real way. i want to be able to see Him in the difficult moments ...
that is hard - but it is a choice. and sometimes it's as simple as just *making* the choice. so, i'm trying to be actively joy-seeking, joyful. we'll see how it goes ... :)
firsts
today i had a first.
first student to wet her pants. in fact, though, i encountered TWO such students today (one mine, one from down the hall).
precious things - same situation to both. couldn't get someone to open the bathroom door, then by the time they got in there, couldn't get the pants off fast enough :(
both are girls in 7th grade. they were so embarrassed.
first student to wet her pants. in fact, though, i encountered TWO such students today (one mine, one from down the hall).
precious things - same situation to both. couldn't get someone to open the bathroom door, then by the time they got in there, couldn't get the pants off fast enough :(
both are girls in 7th grade. they were so embarrassed.
oops
my mom's been getting on my back about updating this thing. nothing seemed too exciting until today. read on.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
gifts for valentine's day:
from one student: a king size snickers and a strage ceramic hand holding clear plastic roses filled with red water and a fake white rose.
from other students: nada.
from my mom: beautiful flowers delivered to school.
precious.
from other students: nada.
from my mom: beautiful flowers delivered to school.
precious.
Monday, February 13, 2006
SNOW DAY!
yay :) this is from yesterday with ava. she helped me shovel my car out and we played in my backyard.
dating
i'm deciding what to do for my pretend-almost-boyfriend for valentine's day.
my friend donnie and i work at the same school. people see us hang out and assume there something going on (far from it). it's gotten a little more, um, obvious recently. like, i walk into his classroom and hear whispers of "mr. maley's girlfriend" and questions to me "are you mr. maley's girlfriend?" "ms. matthews, do you like him??"
even the teachers: he walked into a room where there had been a meeting of all the special ed teachers (but i wasn't there anymore) - everyone there responded in unison, without missing a beat, "she's upstairs." laughing, knowing exactly what/who they were talking about, he said, no no, i'm looking for so-and-so.
it's actually convenient. it keeps the tss workers at bay and then neither of us have to answer questions about why we have no love life - questions that come, for me, at least, a few times a week.
my friend donnie and i work at the same school. people see us hang out and assume there something going on (far from it). it's gotten a little more, um, obvious recently. like, i walk into his classroom and hear whispers of "mr. maley's girlfriend" and questions to me "are you mr. maley's girlfriend?" "ms. matthews, do you like him??"
even the teachers: he walked into a room where there had been a meeting of all the special ed teachers (but i wasn't there anymore) - everyone there responded in unison, without missing a beat, "she's upstairs." laughing, knowing exactly what/who they were talking about, he said, no no, i'm looking for so-and-so.
it's actually convenient. it keeps the tss workers at bay and then neither of us have to answer questions about why we have no love life - questions that come, for me, at least, a few times a week.
psych ...
on friday we had plans to go on a little field trip, to an african american film festival held at a community center close by. we were going to walk and take the bus, see 2 movies on sammy davis, jr. and the harlem globetrotters, and come back. it meant that i had almost nothing to plan for the day, the kids all brought their lunches, and were pretty excited.
we were supposed to meet downstairs at 8:45, at which time i carted my class down there and then stopped by the office to give them the paperwork. i walked in and someone said, did you not hear the announcement the principal just made? (which was, 2nd floor classes planning on going on the trip, stay in your classroom and await further instructions ....)
so, okay, we had to wait a little bit. i thought maybe something semi-dangerous happened outside.
but no. we didn't go. apparently the regional office hadn't looked carefully at the paperwork and when they saw it that morning, they said we couldn't go b/c it's too close to pssas.
well, desks turned in my classroom when the announcement was made. so, for the morning i worked w/ one kid on his writing while everyone else played games on the computer or went to another class to watch a movie. after lunch, we had a couple (educational) movies in our room. after art/music, we went outside for recess for an hour.
to the regional office: when you cancel field trips at the very last minute, you ruin everyone's day and no one gets anything accomplished anyway. in the future, do not do this.
we were supposed to meet downstairs at 8:45, at which time i carted my class down there and then stopped by the office to give them the paperwork. i walked in and someone said, did you not hear the announcement the principal just made? (which was, 2nd floor classes planning on going on the trip, stay in your classroom and await further instructions ....)
so, okay, we had to wait a little bit. i thought maybe something semi-dangerous happened outside.
but no. we didn't go. apparently the regional office hadn't looked carefully at the paperwork and when they saw it that morning, they said we couldn't go b/c it's too close to pssas.
well, desks turned in my classroom when the announcement was made. so, for the morning i worked w/ one kid on his writing while everyone else played games on the computer or went to another class to watch a movie. after lunch, we had a couple (educational) movies in our room. after art/music, we went outside for recess for an hour.
to the regional office: when you cancel field trips at the very last minute, you ruin everyone's day and no one gets anything accomplished anyway. in the future, do not do this.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
God
a student said to me yesterday, "matthew how come you didn't teach me about this, about God??" - as i look down and see that she's reading a book called wonderful world which i apparently never looked through enough to see that it's about creation (ie genesis). oops. but very cute. and cute that she read it enough to understand that it was about God.
sort-of new student
at the end of last week an asst. principal came in and said, ms. matthews, you're going to be getting a new student at the end of the day, just a heads up.
i had forgotten all about it when the knock came at my door and i open it and see a kid who was in my class until halloween-time (who moved out of our limits and so went to a different school)! i was so excited!
apparently the other school was bad and he wanted to come back.
i can't imagine how much worse it gets.
i had forgotten all about it when the knock came at my door and i open it and see a kid who was in my class until halloween-time (who moved out of our limits and so went to a different school)! i was so excited!
apparently the other school was bad and he wanted to come back.
i can't imagine how much worse it gets.
laughing
sometimes i laugh in (either) uncomfortable situations or actually dangerous situations. and i always laugh at an even mildly funny situation.
sometimes a fight in my classroom fits all these categories.
and so, sometimes, i laugh (i know. it's bad). it's really more of a stifled chuckle. but still.
so yesterday after a fight, i was throwing one kid out of the class and my precious very special-ed girl who calls me matthew was laughing. i told her that it's not funny and she laughed and pointed at me and said (loudly in her very special voice) "matttttthew you were laughin' too! i saw you! you can't trick me! i saw you laughin'! don't tell me not to laugh! you laughed too!" (and she went on and on, but you get the gist).
i need to watch the laughing.
sometimes a fight in my classroom fits all these categories.
and so, sometimes, i laugh (i know. it's bad). it's really more of a stifled chuckle. but still.
so yesterday after a fight, i was throwing one kid out of the class and my precious very special-ed girl who calls me matthew was laughing. i told her that it's not funny and she laughed and pointed at me and said (loudly in her very special voice) "matttttthew you were laughin' too! i saw you! you can't trick me! i saw you laughin'! don't tell me not to laugh! you laughed too!" (and she went on and on, but you get the gist).
i need to watch the laughing.
institutionalized
after school on tuesdays, two of my brighest kids stay for math work.
we never get much work done, but it's such good bonding time.
this week, i heard their stories about how they've both been committed to hospitals, or forced to live in residential facilities.
they were between the ages of 7 and 10. the girl talked about how they had to chain her to the bed because she was so wild.
they swapped stories for about 20 minutes - about the people there, the doctors, what it was like in (literally) "these rooms with nothing but a bed. ms. matthews it was like the movies where they put the crazy people except i was the crazy people." - i just sat and listened - in utter disbelief.
we never get much work done, but it's such good bonding time.
this week, i heard their stories about how they've both been committed to hospitals, or forced to live in residential facilities.
they were between the ages of 7 and 10. the girl talked about how they had to chain her to the bed because she was so wild.
they swapped stories for about 20 minutes - about the people there, the doctors, what it was like in (literally) "these rooms with nothing but a bed. ms. matthews it was like the movies where they put the crazy people except i was the crazy people." - i just sat and listened - in utter disbelief.
refuge
the kids come in my room sometimes during my prep period, while they're supposed to be at another class.
my instinct is to kick them out and make them go back to class and to be sort of mean about it.
but then i stop and listen to why they're coming in.
without a doubt, 99.9% of the time it is because "they're pickin' on me in there" or "they're actin' crazy in there"
it is precious to me to know that they feel safe in my classroom (or at least they do when the whole class isn't in there and it's just me).
my instinct is to kick them out and make them go back to class and to be sort of mean about it.
but then i stop and listen to why they're coming in.
without a doubt, 99.9% of the time it is because "they're pickin' on me in there" or "they're actin' crazy in there"
it is precious to me to know that they feel safe in my classroom (or at least they do when the whole class isn't in there and it's just me).
the most frightening moment yet
was yesterday. we have been talking about biomes. on tuesday we learned about the desert. on wednesday, we started science, i passed out our materials, then i shut my eyes.
i told them i was an alien, have never been to earth or seen the sun. i described my planet and asked them about this thing i hear about called the desert.
they did a remarkable job of explaining it to me, but it was soooo scary to have my eyes shut. seriously like, they could be coming at me and i'd have no idea scary.
i told them i was an alien, have never been to earth or seen the sun. i described my planet and asked them about this thing i hear about called the desert.
they did a remarkable job of explaining it to me, but it was soooo scary to have my eyes shut. seriously like, they could be coming at me and i'd have no idea scary.
trailer trash (again)
it's been a while since i've been called "a *@*&$ white piece of trailer trash."
i still think it's a remarkable piece of cultural awareness that i rarely see from my class.
this time, though, i looked at the kid and said, "what would you do if i said i grew up in a trailer? i didn't, but what if i did?"
the kid looked at me and cursed some more, but i think he thought about it, just a little.
i still think it's a remarkable piece of cultural awareness that i rarely see from my class.
this time, though, i looked at the kid and said, "what would you do if i said i grew up in a trailer? i didn't, but what if i did?"
the kid looked at me and cursed some more, but i think he thought about it, just a little.
assembly
we had an assembly today.
it was a pep rally for the PSSAs.
of all bizarre experiences, this tops so many of them.
so we have this random beautiful old auditorium that never gets used. today it was all decorated in black and gold (apparently our school colors, which i was supposed to wear today. oops. my brown sweater caught some flack). then we go in there and they're handing out those little streamer/pompoms on a stick. then i look over and see a dj (who happens to be one of our long term subs).
then the asst. principal gets on stage and is the mc. and some students come out and start ... rapping. then a few more come out and breakdance. then the front of the auditorium turned into a dance floor. then the dancing spills on to the stage.
but all the while, all the words people are rapping and singing are ... about the PSSAs (state tests).
it was so bizarre.
oh, and my kids called me out on "bustin' moves" (i may or may not have danced through one of the aisles on my way to reprimand an unsuspecting student for hitting another kid with the pompoms).
like i said, very bizarre.
it was a pep rally for the PSSAs.
of all bizarre experiences, this tops so many of them.
so we have this random beautiful old auditorium that never gets used. today it was all decorated in black and gold (apparently our school colors, which i was supposed to wear today. oops. my brown sweater caught some flack). then we go in there and they're handing out those little streamer/pompoms on a stick. then i look over and see a dj (who happens to be one of our long term subs).
then the asst. principal gets on stage and is the mc. and some students come out and start ... rapping. then a few more come out and breakdance. then the front of the auditorium turned into a dance floor. then the dancing spills on to the stage.
but all the while, all the words people are rapping and singing are ... about the PSSAs (state tests).
it was so bizarre.
oh, and my kids called me out on "bustin' moves" (i may or may not have danced through one of the aisles on my way to reprimand an unsuspecting student for hitting another kid with the pompoms).
like i said, very bizarre.
fights this morning
abounded.
between kids in my class. i hate it when this happens, because inevitably, they all get thrown back in the room and i have to deal with the simmering anger. ugh.
between kids in my class. i hate it when this happens, because inevitably, they all get thrown back in the room and i have to deal with the simmering anger. ugh.
happy birthday to his face
it was a student's birthday today.
unfortunately, he has told me a bunch of times this year that "today's my birthday."
so when i found out at like 2:30 (when i looked in his file) that february 9 is, in fact, his date of birth, i felt terrible.
i told him the story of the boy who cries wolf and gave him some reese's cups.
unfortunately, he has told me a bunch of times this year that "today's my birthday."
so when i found out at like 2:30 (when i looked in his file) that february 9 is, in fact, his date of birth, i felt terrible.
i told him the story of the boy who cries wolf and gave him some reese's cups.