last week

was all in all, totally terrible. not too many redeeming things about it.

i left school on friday barely holding back buckets of tears that flowed for the next hour.

i have no desire to really recount anything, but please pray that things improve. i'm not sure i can handle it much longer ...!

nap

i just woke up from a 5 hour nap - as in, i got home from school, fell asleep on the couch, and woke up at 9 pm. my goodness.

today was the second time a kid destroyed my bookshelf (those wire ones. this thing has got to go. it's sitting there just asking to be thrown across the room). there were 10 kids present today, only about 6 in the room at any given time. total and utter chaos.

but on the bright side, our new little turn-card-behavior system is working (aside from one kid tearing up his cards ...) - the most rowdy, loudest, silliest kid was in his seat most of the day because he didn't want his card to turn. yay :)

annnnd ...

to top it all off ... a comment from my assistant principal (who i love, to whom i was expressing some "frustrations"):

ms. matthews, but now, how many students do you have?

only 10! that's why i'm so ...

mm mm no ms. matthews. you have 10 kids with 4 personalities each. that's 40 students as far as i'm concerned. you're fine.

and

today included (... not nearly as bad b/c there were only 6 there ...)

1. phone call from the principal asking if i knew anything about a parent assaulting a tss worker.

2. phone message from said tss worker (incidentally, the one who sort of asked me out) saying that "it is time for me to move on, professionally and personally" - so monday is his last day. if the TSS WORKERS ARE QUITTING, HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL??! arggggh.

3. two different parents visiting the school to have a little "talk" with their boys.

4. stopping in to clarify some situations with the principal and having her click away at her email and not look me in the eye more than once in the whole 3 minutes i was in there.

5. proofreading a letter from the principal to the state senator and finding at least 6 errors (punctuation and spelling, mostly, although there would be more if i counted inappropriately large words).

6. proofreading a sample assignment from the *reading* curriculum coordinator and finding a couple terrible questions and the word "Except" in the middle of a sentence. just like that. capital E.

7. terrible professional development during which numbers 5 and 6 took place and a terrible, overwhelmed, disturbed sensation took over me and caused me to look for mistakes other people were making. ack.

in fact

yesterday (thursday) was far worse than wednesday.

i have talked to the principal more in the last two days than i have total since the day she hired me.

thursday's drama(s) included two teeth, a backpack and a broken (like shattered, books all over the floor) bookcase, three suspensions, three thrown trash cans, one boy's private parts and one girl's accusations, a few rough parent phone calls, a few tears (not in front of them), and one question: "ms. matthews, i know you're frustrated but i don't get number 6."

i expected

that today would be bad, but i didn't expect to want to quit.

today made me want to quit.

i won't, but one of the kids asked me today if i got hurt really badly, if i would quit. i said no, but they probably wouldn't let me come back, AND one of you would be in jail. so let's make sure that doesn't happen.

welcome back!

so today, we didn't go to school. that is, we didn't go to *our* school. something happened with the power in the building and instead of cancelling school (which is actually nice b/c we would've had a makeup day ...), we split up - i went with the 5th and 6th graders to a nearby school/ prison (not literally, but from the building, you'd think so) and hung out in the auditorium all day. we were supposed to watch movies, but hercules was the only one we made it through. the kids were sort of well behaved (until the end and i had to chase my kids onto the buses in order to get them onto the correct ones ...) and it, like so many things in life, was one of those things that now i am shaking my head going, did that just happen?

whoops again

no news doesn't necessarily mean good news ... the week before christmas i had a kid bring in little pellets of tobacco (stuffed in rubber shells), i had a super awkward interaction with a tss worker (which involved him calling me one night "just to see how my trip to the bookstore was and to talk" ... ACK!), one kid told me that jewish people were going to be waiting a long time for the messiah (we talked about hannukah and judaism on monday) "because Jesus already been come," me feeling rather sick for about half the week, and of course, the field trip downtown. actually, the kids were well behaved except for at one point when one girl got totally overstimulated and literally froze up for about 45 minutes - couldn't move (she was a dead weight), talk, move her eyes, blink ... nothing. it was sort of scary and mostly just weird. and we had 'christmas' on friday in our classroom, which revealed the kids at their most preciousness. my family had sent stockings and little wrapped gifts and big boxes of school supplies, which my class was obviously ELATED to get. realllly cute. and a couple of my boys have crushes on my sister elizabeth now. wow.

so then, the long awaited and much needed break (and the long drive home. thank you traffic on I-76).

whoops

haven't posted anything at all this week, due, of course, to insane-busy-ness, not the lack of events to share.

in fact, today there were a few particularly notable events. oh my goodness. keep checking. i'll update once i'm home for christmas (STILL in philly until tomorrow afternoon. my goodness.).

from my student who ...

has been abandoned (literally, like alone for weeks) by his father twice, lives with a random family member, has been taken by dhs, and who was potty-trained a year and a half ago ...

I like to be with my family for Christmas because it is fun and we get to hang up decorations. I like to ate food with my family put up the tree and open gifts sing Christmas songs and put of lights I love my family so much and they are my best family in the whole woild world.

christmas poem

C andy canes are red and white, they make you want to shine the night
H appy Christmas I can't wait to get to my presents so I can play with my toys and make some noise
R ed and green are my favorite colors but sometimes I will show my mother
I like the Christmas bells they sing songs and make me want to go home
S ongs and stockings come for me in the Christmas tree
T ree is white or green but sometimes they show up for the spring
M erry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Merry Christmas
A ngels don't have brains that's not a shame
S anta Claus sent me some Halls

copabanana?

one of my tss workers today asked if i go there a lot. it's a bar on penn's campus. i told him, no not really, i don't really hang out there much anymore. ;)

then the tss workers (the 3 that were there today) asked if we could have a holiday celebration together, like going to copabanana or something.

sure, whatever guys. what an adventure that will be.

confirmed

so we're going on a field trip. to lord and taylor to see the lights show (my kids in lord and taylor ... ? oh my ...) and to reading terminal to see the train display, and to gallery east to see santa there (i don't know how into any of this stuff they'll be, but it is a field trip which they ask for ALL the time).

i am sooo apprehensive.

field trip?

i walked into the bathroom today and i heard a voice say, who's there?

um, ms. matthews ...

oh, it's (so-andso). so your name's on the list for the field trip next week.

what field trip?

you haven't heard about it?? well it's wednesday, all day, free except for tokens and lunch. (which is not that free, by the way)

where are we going?

downtown.

who is going?

most of the special ed classes.

what do i need to do?

just get permission slips signed.

umm. okay, sounds good.

oh, and, the principal hasn't technically approved it yet, but just assume we're going.
___________________________________________________________

so, i'm taking my class downtown i guess ...

boo 3

and then yesterday ...

[background: my cute little hugger kid has this friend who walks him to school. she dotes on him and watches out for him and sort of shows him off to her friends (in a condescending-this-is-my-token-mentally-deficient-friend-way). in any case, she's really funny and has a lot of personality. i will call her c and my student is k].

we're lining up after lunch waiting to go into the classroom. c walks by us to the water fountain and of course, k runs over to her. she says, hey boo, in that voice they all use when they say boo. then k responds with, heeeeyyy sweetie (in this realllly girly voice).

that doesn't sound as funny as it was, but i laughed hard inside.

later that day k's step-sister/guardian told me that c calls their house alllll the time for him. she was saying, i have got to watch out for that girl. she is up to no good.

probably true, boo.

boo 2

lately i've noticed the kids saying it.

there is some new graffiti in the stairwell that says "tyesha is my boo" ...

boo 1

around here, boo is a pet name.

this summer at institute there was a cafeteria worker who would ask "whatchu want mommy? whatchu want daddy? how you doin' boo? aright now boo. you have a good day now boo."

everything was boo. sooo funny.

phone calls

this afternoon (2 hours after dismissal. kids were home), my classroom phone rang and i picked it up to hear, "ms. matthews?"

it was one of my students, which was funny first of all because for them to call my room means that he had to talk to someone in the office who connected him to my room.

i said, hi *** (his name. he remains anonymous).

he said, whatcha doin'?

i told him how i was organizing the cabinet and cleaning up the classroom. he then asked me some questions like, are you having fun? can we work in groups tomorrow?

then his mom got on and was like, did you call here or did he call you?

oh no, ma'am, he definitely called me.

i guess he just wanted to chat ...

oh! and ...

part of the glory of the day surely includes the mail i got today - well, a ups delivery ...

of 3 HUGE boxes filled with stuff for my class from home. my sisters, brother, mom (and dad, although probably more indirectly (ie the credit card bill?)), aunt and even my little cousin (who left me the cuuuutest note) put together gifts for my class - boxes of school supplies, stockings for each kid with random christmas-y stuff in them, and a few 'class' gifts - construction paper, those cool edged scissors, and gel pens. boy oh boy. room 201 is going to be out of control.

i need to figure out what to buy my tss workers (i feel like i should buy them something ...) - black pens i think. like, niceish ones.

but the thought of my kids opening these presents just absolutely makes my day.

what a glorious day

actually, not really. i've just been dying to say that phrase (thank you david crowder).

in fact, this morning was about as bad as its been.

BUT once the kids left (at 12:19!!), I had all day and evening (when i was required to be there - until 7) to work on my room. i organized, cleaned, hung posters, got the lights changed (it's like a new room), and more.

and then tonight i downloaded a bunch of great christmas music (thanks linds) to the classroom computer so i had the excellent "maybe this christmas tree" album accompanying my toils ;)

excepting this morning, a glorious day.