bittersweet (always)

it was one of my student's last day on friday. the student who i also had last year. his tss agency is insisting that he needs to be in this really intensive-care program at another school. bah. so friday was his last day.

i talked to the class about it on thursday and they were are really cute about it, and super supportive on friday.

when he was sitting by himself at lunch yesterday, all i had to do was mention it to the other boys, who immediately went back and sat with him.

they asked if they could make him cards, which turned out to be the sweetest things ever. they used green construction paper (his favorite color) and put heart-shaped cutouts on the front. the insides said things like, 'we will miss you so much but we hope you like your new school' and 'you were great to be in a class with.'

they were all excited about our little goodbye celebration and gave him a standing ovation when we began the celebration.

in between we had a shelter-in-place drill (in case something happens outside the school, we all go to the cafeteria, which is on the 4th floor and has windows on 2 sides. i feel SO safe there), so on our way back, i had told the kids that if they were absolutely quiet in the hall, i would move us to 8 (the highest level on our little class reward/behavior thing). one kid was going crazy with his hand raised on the way. once we got in the classroom, he whispered to me, "ms. matthews wouldn't it be special if you let (student) change the clothespin to 8? since it's his last day at all ..."

sweet sweet thing. but i'm really going to miss him, a lot. he was my one little baby left over from last year.

on the bright side

one of my students peed on the floor of the boy's bathroom today.

like, whipped it out, and peed. in front of 7 other boys.

(all of whom came out and told me about it)

as lindsay just reminded me (because i am still grossed out), at least it wasn't on the floor of your classroom. that would really mess up the ambiance.

the other side

library

it looks like all the books are falling down. but it is verrrry organized!

the back

this is the view from the front of the classroom.

my classroom

this is the front of my classroom. i *told* you it was huge!

those are two of my students from last year, working on their homework after school. precious things.

apology

sorry to those of you who are loyal readers. the good news is, when i don't update a lot, it's because i don't have a TON to say. or at least nothing uber-emotional that i need to get off my chest. in a nutshell, here's life in my classroom:

1. great.
2. cuuuute kids. they really are cute.
3. great.
4. sometimes i'm reminded that even though my class is great, the whole school is not. like when ....
a) students from last year come to my room while they cut class and run the hall
b) students open my door and throw things in from the hallway (gum, wrappers, their *voices*)
c) one of my students gets "jumped" (as they say) in the hallway by other kids
d) when i talk to the teacher who has most of my kids from last year. usually when you say "i know how you feel," you really don't. but i really do. :(
5. great. i feel like a real teacher.

coming home!

fam! i bought a plane ticket to come home on the 29th.

david, i'm guessing you'll probably read this before i talk to you next. i'm excited to celebrate your one-week-pre-birthday with you :)

and ... furious.

relieved, too, but lots of me is just plain mad.

runaway kid was, in fact, a runaway. he and his sister got in trouble over the weekend for stealing money off an access card (?) and ran away with his sister to spite grandmom, who caught them in the money-card situation.

don't know if and when he'll be back at school.

but this was my *good* kid last year. seems impossible that he really got himself into this mess.

so sad.

worried sick

i probably shouldn't be yet, but one of my (favorite (is that bad?)) students from last year is missing. grandmom sent him to school today, he didn't show up, wasn't at his after school program (i stopped by and checked) and wasn't home as of 6:15 (i called). this is one-hundred percent not like him at all. a couple kids say they saw him in the schoolyard this morning and he was mad or upset about something, but those kids are sort of unreliable witnesses.

this is the kid who wants to move to california, become an actor, and has a "groove with the Lord." pray that he'll come back home tonight and that nothing too serious is wrong.

day 2

we're still in paradise in room 403A.

two students were whispering to each other during math. i am about 90% sure they were actually whispering about the math work. but, still, talking while i am talking. not allowed. rule number 3: no talking while the teacher is talking (or is that rule 2 ... in any case). i gave them one warning, and, just like i had told them the day before, changed their cards (our little behavior system) when they continued to talk.

there was a silent gasp - everyone stopped exhaling for a minute ... the first cards had been changed.

and after school, almost 2 hours later, they independently apologized to me for being rude and promised that it wouldn't happen again.

i feel like, is this really happening???

how is this POSSIBLE?!

i love my job.

(today at least)

first day

(as a precursor to this message, i am in grad school class right now on a friend's computer. the teacher is teling us to make sure we play games in our math class. duh.)

it went great!!! here are the things that made it wonderful:

1. i felt ready. the room looked awesome, i got plenty of sleep, and i had stuff to do and copies made a while ago.
2. i stood in the stairwell and directed 6th graders toward the cafeteria for the first 45 minutes of the day.
3. one of my former students was with all the 6th graders waiting for a class. but he was in 6th grade *last* year. i saw him and said his name, and he turned around with this look of sheer and complete joy and gave me a huge hug. this is my dracula voice kid, and so when i asked him why he was standing with the 6th graders when he is in 7th grade now. he looked at me and said (in his little voice, which hasn't changed at all over the summer), well where am i supposed to go then? precious. he also stopped by after school and asked if he could play the computer, "just for a littel whiule." i miss him.
4. i have a break during second period, so i didn't get any kids in my classroom until 10:15.
5. had a "familiar" moment when i saw one of my former students wandering in the hallways and i was able to corral him into his classroom. he was smiling the whole time and i have a feeling it was a 'familiar' feeling for him too.
6. my kids (when i finally got them) were awesome! well, i only had ... 5. supposedly i'll have 7 total. we'll see if they all show.
6. the awesome kids had the following response when i asked them to look around the room and choose a few things they are excited about: 1. all hands shot up, waving in the air (what?) 2. one girl *yelled* "the WRITING center!! i can't wait to use the writing center!!" and she was being serious. (WHAT?!) 3. another kid said, very seriously, "the BOOKS. there are lots of books." (YAAY!)
7. this came when they were asked to name some bad choices that sometimes students make in the classroom. one kid raised her hand and said, with the utmost sincerity ... "not doing your homework." and everybody sighed and said, yeaaaah. and the next kid said "cursing. cursing in school is a really bad choice." and everyone sighed and said, you NEVER should curse in school. next was "you should never talk while the teacher is talking." and everyone agreed about that, too.
8. today was an easy day. here's hoping that stays the same :D

the contrast

between this year and last ... it is 11:15 and i'm only have one more thing left to do: decide what i'm going to wear tomorrow, for the first day of school (however easier said than done). let's consider together last year, when i think i stayed up until 2 am *at least* for the first few nights of school.

as i drove home today from school (and by the way, my classroom is looking REALLY good, if i don't say so myself. i took a picture with my phone. ask if you want to see it :)), i passed many of my (former) students' houses, and go SO excited for the first day of school ... even if just to see my kids from last year!! i am dying to know how their summers went and to watch them go through this school year. i really can't believe that it's already time for this to start again!

boy oh boy!

tomorrow is the first day of school for teachers. kids come on thursday.

ready or not, here i come ... !

one week countdown ... !

I had a memorable day with one of my students who came up to help me in my classroom today.

One of his goals for this year is to not run around in the hall as much and work hard. Precious thing. We bought some pizza for lunch and he started to bow his head to pray before eating - so I asked him if I could pray for us both. It was a great little moment.

late moment

tonight we had our first grad school class. i left at 4:15 for what i originally thought was a 5:30 class, but then a last minute email check said 5:00. oops. a little late. it took me over an hour to get there.

so after wandering around the unfamiliar campus looking for anyone i knew and waiting for friends to call me back, i walk into the class just after 5:30, where, unbeknownst to me, class has *just* started. so i was wrong a few times over.

as i walk past the professor, i whisper, I am SO sorry.

She turns towards me (and so I'm kind of right under her at this point - she is really tall) and says, "You are?"

Shocked, I respond, "Yeeah. I really am."

She says, "No, your name. I'm taking roll. What's your name?"

Haaaahahahaha.

bittersweet

i just read through what i wrote on here in may and june. it's amazing to me that i am excited about the school year again. such a testimony to God's renewing power.

reminds me of another song: (these are by sara groves, by the way)

it's the everyday miracles that keep my hope alive -
it's the way you move in little things that helps me survive.
and i know you move in greater ways; this is great enough for me
what you do with my every day is amazing.

and the things that seem impossible, i lay down at your feet
and just when i am needing most you are there for me
and i know you've made the lame to walk and caused the blind to see
what you do with my every day is amazing

when i'm down on my knees cause i can't make it through
when it's up to me, it's really up to you

and i know you move in much greater ways; this is great enough for me
what you do with my every day is simply amazing.

memories

i called one of my former student's house to see if he wants to come up to school tomorrow and help me set up shop.

his mom answered and said, ms. matthews! i was wondrin' if we would hear from you this summer! (kid) gonna have you this year? oo ms. matthews he really hopes he does.

and i have to say, no, i'm only teaching 6th graders this year, so they'll be in 7th grade and i won't have them.

and she says, so wait, you won't have any of them? not (kid), or (kid), or even (kid).

nope, none of them (silently SO thankful).

she says, ohhhh ms. matthews they gonna be so sad. they talked about you all summer.

and suddenly, i wasn't so thankful that i don't have those kids again. quite frankly, i (briefly) got a little envious of my friend who's teaching 7th grade SpEd and will have them all. but then i remembered last year, and was thankful again.

i *am*, however, excited to see him tomorrow!

my class

so i spent the beginning of this week being unreasonably overwhelmed ... to the point of near-insanity.

but i spent all day today in my classroom, just organizing and getting ready.

i feel MUCH better.

it also helped that i ran into the special ed coordinator and she and i made up my class list.

i have seven kids; one i had last year, five were recommended to be in my class because they're well-behaved and want to learn, and one is new.

Bless.